Датская связь / The Danish Connection (1974)

"Quality" soft-x producer Manuel Conde is the mastermind behind this first appearance of camp porn detective Johhny Wadd (John Holmes). Did you know the Johnny Wadd series started before XXX? Well photographed pretend sex, and hilariously inept kung-fu action. "Everyone wants the formula for male virility that Danish scientists have developed. Wealthy but impotent Herbert Steele, who desires his secretary, Kitty, is willing to pay $1,000,000 or more for the formula. He's hired private eye, Johnny Wadd, but Wadd has disappeared after a trip to Hawaii. So Steele hires Eric Jensen (Rick Cassidy), a photographer and Don Juan who claims he can get the drug. Holmes engages in some of the lamest fistfights around, but there's plenty of good scenes with co-stars Rene Bond, Sandi Carey, and Sandy Dempsey. Both Holmes and Cassidy have personal theme songs which we get to hear whenever they re-emerge in the plot. Holmes' goes, in part: "He's the man of the hour, he's the man of the year, he's the man every living woman wants to be quite near... Big John's got the equipment and the ladies all know, it's the biggest joint right up here on earth since Adam's long ago."